A few years ago, while still working in the fashion industry, I came across an interview with Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care nurse. She had spent years caring for people at the end of their lives and noted the top five regrets they expressed:I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I wish I had let myself be happier.

Reading these words really hit me, powerful, sobering, and deeply clarifying. It was the sign I didn’t know I was waiting for. At the time, I was in a well-paid, successful career, but I felt restless and increasingly uninspired. Years earlier, I had trained part-time as a Life Coach and saw a few clients on Fridays, but coaching remained quietly in the background.
That inner tug, however, had grown louder.
It said: Go. Quit the job. Make helping others your full-time purpose.
But I found myself wondering—how do we know what’s right for us? Where does this “knowing” come from? How do we recognise our so-called authentic self?

Being your Authentic Self

Living authentically means aligning your life with your personal values, those deep principles that guide your actions, shape your relationships, and define your sense of purpose. These values are often instilled in childhood and can be influenced by culture, family, spirituality, or life experience.
Some are core values—non-negotiable beliefs that anchor you. For example, if one of your core values might be integrity, meaning you’ll avoid situations where you’re asked to be dishonest, even if profitable or popular.
Faith can also play a role. Whether you’re guided by Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, or another spiritual framework, your beliefs may offer a moral compass that influences your decisions as a partner, parent, or leader.
Understanding your values brings clarity to nearly every area of life:
Finding a life partner, a soulmate

Choosing a career that nourishes rather than drains you

Building meaningful friendships and relationships

Becoming the kind of leader or role model you admire

Setting boundaries that protect your physical and mental health

But authenticity isn’t always easy, especially in a world that often prizes appearance over substance.

A Culture of Perfection versus A Life of Meaning

Beautiful bodies. Perfect homes. Trendy careers.
But underneath the surface, many people are silently struggling, feeling lonely, disconnected from their true selves and devoid of any meaningful, real relationships.
I have my own mixed relationship with social media: at best, a fantastic business tool, at worst, a trap that taps into our evolutionary survival instinct. We want to be liked. It exploits our deeply ingrained need for social approval and belonging, to be accepted by our tribe. This creates a powerful feedback loop, resulting in insecurity and anxiety when that validation is absent. It takes real self-knowledge to say, “I disagree and that’s okay.”
And then we have role models like Marcus Rashford. He could easily present a perfect Instagram life. Instead, he uses the platform to speak openly about his upbringing in poverty and to campaign for continued school meals for children who arrive at class hungry. He could have concealed the unglamorous details, like his single mother working multiple jobs and skipping meals so he and his four siblings wouldn’t go hungry, but he doesn’t.

How can you learn to be Authentic?

There is a saying: ‘When the Student Is ready, the teacher appears’.
It’s interesting how, once you truly make up your mind about something, the world seems to shift around you. Suddenly, opportunities start appearing where before there were only closed doors. There is a saying: “When the student is ready, the teacher arrives.” For me, this came in the form of Lacy Philips’ Expanded Podcast. Although I’m usually wary of the typical LA-style, somewhat “woo-woo” manifestation talks, this platform felt different. Grounded in neuroscience and psychology, and featuring a range of fascinating guests sharing their stories, it felt as though more than one teacher had arrived, offering me a wealth of inspiration.
Their inspiring Pathway membership (inexpensive & highly recommended), contains an exercise to explore your authentic code—the essence that defines you, guides what you do, shapes how you live a meaningful and fulfilling life, and reveals what you should avoid or detox from your life.

The exercise guides you through a series of reflective questions aimed at identifying the values, patterns, and desires that make up your authentic self:
In calm, reflective moments, what thoughts or themes tend to surface on their own?

When you’re alone and simply being yourself, how do you usually spend your time and energy?

If you had access to more money, what would you honestly and wholeheartedly want to spend it on?

I found this exercise exhilaratingly exciting because it finally helped me understand so many of my motivations and life decisions—why some brought me happiness and others didn’t. I realised why, ultimately, I could not continue with my former career.
Coaching with Authenticity
This insight has also helped shape my business by clarifying what I wanted it to look like. How I wanted to show up, and what boundaries I needed to establish, especially when it came to my digital presence. One of my core needs was to be authentic, rather than trying to please everyone. It was never about attracting just any clients, but the right clients, the ones I truly connect with. Most importantly, I wanted that feeling to be mutual.

If you have any questions or would like to get in touch, you can contact me via this form and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.